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December 26 "Tell me about you..."I read this story...and thought about what my answer would be...so read the story, and then you can read my answer to this question, had it been presented to me...
"And so it was that in the presence of the free-range wasp colony, ice water with the freshest twist of lemon and a lunch of hummus on pita bread, this most unusual of creatures turned to me, full and attentive, sincere and with absolute meaning and said, "Tell me about you." "
So with that, I'll tell you about me... I am a mother...one who loves her children more than life itself...who wouldn't know what to do if I didn't have them in my life...and I would like to say that I thank God for them every day...but I have those days when I wish I could just be alone....just be without someone to take care of...just be without having to do laundry that wasn't really dirty, but when it gets shoved to the bottom of the laundry basket rather than being put away has become dirty by default...just be without the toys and clutter that seem to define children...I see those beautiful Christmas trees in the stores with the balls and lights, tinsel and ribbons...that look so precious...and think how would it be to have one of those trees...but then I remember that the mismatched ornaments that hang on my tree were made by two little sets of hands who only want my love...the paper chain is one child's handiwork...making pattern after pattern...green, yellow, red...green, yellow, red...repeating and ending with green...this childs favorite color...the ornaments that only go half way up the tree because thats as high as one child sees when he's hanging them up...never stopping to consider that they aren't evenly spaced...and it is when I see the handmade gifts from my kids...that I got to open up while they beamed and smiled so bright that they lit up the room...and it is then that I ask God for forgiveness...for ever thinking what it would be like without my angels...and I thank God for giving me my own angels to raise... I am a daughter...my parents raised me...and had I wanted to...I know that I could have gone to them with any problems I had...but all too often I didn't want to bother them...didn't want to add to their load...didn't want to disappoint them...didn't want to show them that I couldn't handle all that life threw at me...I know that they love me...and I know they worry about me...I know that there are things I do that disappoints them...but I know that they will love me always... I am a sister...I have 2 brothers...so often I have wanted to be just as strong as them...not to ever let my guard down...not ever let it show that I can't do everything that they can do...I've probably tried harder than alot of people for the 'right' to fit into their little group...just so that they would be proud of me...I think they are proud of me...each in his own way...sometimes I just wish that they would just hug me and tell me its ok to let my guard down sometimes...that they will love me no matter what...and I had to lean on one of my brothers a while back...and it was hard to let him see me when I was weak...but I did it...and maybe thats all it takes...is for one of us...to let down the guard enough to need the others...and I think that we've become closer since then...I also have 2 sisters...sisters I wouldn't have had if my brothers hadn't chosen them to marry...I am greatful...more than I can say for all that they do for me... I am a friend...I give my all to my friends...for those people who take the time to see whats below the surface...I give my heart, soul, entire self to them...I listen...I love...I worry about...and I try to help them...often at the expense of myself...and my own needs...maybe I need to be a friend to myself first and foremost... I am an entirely too independent woman...who has had too few people that I could truly depend on in my life...I've built up walls around my heart...afraid that if I let someone take care of me...emotionally...that I'll be left with nothing...the few people that I have given my heart to have given it back to me...usually worse for wear...but I get it back...and wonder why I gave it away in the first place...when I could have just dealt with it myself...forgotten I had a heart to begin with...but this is my problem...I want someone to want to take care of me...and yet I'm afraid that if I do...I will get left...and be alone...and wonder how in the hell I'm going to take care of things without them in my life... I am also moody, opinionated, and I'm seldom wrong...but when I am...I do apologize...I am a survivor...I am an intelligent woman...I am a Christian...I am a romantic...I am a sexy, passionate woman...I am so many different things...and one day I know that I will find one man to share my whole self with...to share my life with...and when that day comes...I know that I'll have found one amazing man...and together we will build one amazing life together...one that incorporates all of who we are into one life...thats a day I look forward to reaching...
I hope everyone has had a great holiday and that New Years is going to be good for you as well...reflect on what 2006 has brought you...and where you hope that 2007 will take you...its a pretty amazing thing to think of what we want out of life...and to actually achieve it... {{HUGS}} ~~SanDee~~ December 18 We got some snow!!We had some snow over the weekend...haven't had much snow in any amount for a long time...so my daughter had a blast playing in the snow over the weekend...so I thought I'd post a few pics...and just say hi to everyone...
I had a blast at the Hockey game...I'm slowly picking up on the rules...and just overall having fun...
Hope everyone has a Merry Christmas and a great New Years...that you are able to look upon the last year and find things that you've learned, things that you have yet to learn, but most of all...just learn to be happy...remember that happiness is a choice...you can't change what happens to you...but you can change how you react...
{{HUGS}}
~~SanDee~~ December 15 Tonight!!!Oh...I almost forgot...
I'm going to a hockey game tonight!!! I can't wait!!!!
I hope everyone else has a great weekend!!
~~SanDee~~ Quotes of the day...I have to post the quotes of the day...and some of todays quotes actually come from my horoscope...so it might ring true for other cancers too...
CANCER (Jun 21 - Jul 22): Your protective outer shell serves you well now as you bounce around in the winds of change, for there may not be any place to shelter you from the current turbulence. Just keep in mind that you are safe; you will survive as long as you don't bring too much attention to your soft spots. If you focus on your fears, you might make a bad judgment call in a panicky moment and cling on to something you really do not need.
Cancer If things are still not going smoothly for you and someone else, don't give up hope.
"Soul meets soul on lover's lips" Percy Bysshe Shelly
"It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness" Eleanor Roosevelt
"Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow" Helen Keller
"A problem is a chance for you to do your best" Duke Ellington
"Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety or the handle of faith" Henry Ward Beecher
"Take calculated risks. That is quite different from being rash" General George S Patton Life lessons....Its been a long time since I last blogged what I was feeling...and I think I'm ready to do a bit of that today...over the last couple of years, I've really tried to look at situations and try to figure out why a particular person was in my life...what reason, season or lifetime...and its always been to give me something that **I** needed...something that was missing in my life...I had been soaking up what people had to offer me...and it blessed me and filled me back up......I've realized something about the last few months...this time it wasn't what I needed to receive from a person...but was more about what I needed to give to a person...It was my turn to give back some of the love, understanding, teaching, that I'd learned...return the favor...to pay it forward...The thing about it is that I may have been receiving things from the people I've met...but I also gave them the opportunity to give something...and it felt really good to be in a position in my life that I was able to give of myself...emotionally...to offer to someone else some complete, untethered love...compassion, understanding...with no judgement...
so I thank you...and you know who you are...for allowing me to give...to return the favor....to learn another lesson...that sometimes the lesson isn't what did I need to get from an experience...but what did I need to teach...I'll always be your friend and I'll always love you...no matter what happens...because thats the kind of person I am...{{HUGS}}
December 04 Alot of good quotes today...Let go of your concerns for awhile. Table your problems: go for a drive, take in a movie, go shopping, or read a book. The respite is precious and you can return to the issue with a clearer, more serene perspective.
-National Association for Mental Health The light in children's eyes is the reflection of Heaven peeking through.
-Karen Goldman,
"The Angel Book" LIFESTYLE
"Today I live in the quiet, joyous expectation of good." -- Ernest Holmen "Being rich isn't about money. Being rich is a state of mind. Some of us, no matter how much money we have, will never be free enough to take time to stop and eat the heart of the watermelon. And some of us will be rich without ever being more than a paycheck ahead of the game." -- Harvey B. Mackay "Make your life a masterpiece; imagine no limitations on what you can be, have or do." -- Brian Tracy
HAPPINESS
I never thought that a lot of money or fine clothes--the finer things of life--would make you happy. My concept of happiness is to be fulfilled in a spiritual sense. Coretta Scott King
Reformer With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. Max Ehrmann "Desiderata" December 01 Quotes of the Day..."I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them." - James Rhinehart
A bird does not sing because it has an answer.
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